Sheryl Sandbergand Tom Bernthalcelebrated their wedding on Saturdayat Trail Creek Ranch in Jackson, Wyoming — and it was a weekend filled with Western touches.
“Dive bars, country music — this is all a new part of my life, but I love it,” Sandberg tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview at her home in the Bay Area, three weeks before the festivities. “It’s really fun. I mean, I really never did that much of stuff like this before. I really focused on working and being a mother.”
With her new husband a huge fan of country music and Western culture, she says she got on board with a new experience.
“He’s getting married in jeans and boots. I’m embracing this!” says Sandberg, 52. “It’s definitely been a big part of our relationship. Tom definitely made life a lot more fun.”
“We both love it out West. We both love big open spaces. We got engaged on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, and we were in Jackson a couple of years ago and kind of fell in love,” says Bernthal, 49, who wore Lucchese boots under slim-fit jeans and a tuxedo jacket.
Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal.Allan Zepeda
The bride wore Monique Lhiullier, off the rack, and changed into a shorter version for the reception. Though she planned to change into cowboy boots herself, a last-minute zipper break threw a snag into those plans.
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Guests included Facebook founderMark Zuckerbergand his wifePriscilla Chan; the groom’s brother, actorJon Bernthal; tennis champSerena Williams;Arianna Huffington; and Sandberg’sOption Bco-writer Adam Grant.
Tom Bernthal (top left) and Sheryl Sandberg (right) at their wedding.Allan Zepeda
“Tom and I met each other later in life — and that means we bring to this relationship a lifetime of friends we each had as well as some friends we’ve made together,” says Sandberg. “What happened this weekend is that our friends became friends and that was so special.”
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Serena Williams (left) and Sheryl Sandberg (right of center) with friends.Allan Zepeda
ActressJean Louisa Kellysang Brad Paisley’s “Then” as Sandberg walked down the aisle — a song carefully chosen for its sentimental lyrics.“The lyrics are about how ‘I thought I loved you then’ because you love the person more than you can imagine going forward,” says Sandberg, who incorporated the theme into her vows: “I believe that years from now, I will look back to this moment and marvel that I thought I loved you then.”
“How hard is it to find someone you want to grow old with the first time, let alone find that again?” Sandberg tells PEOPLE.
“I think I felt lucky all along,” she adds, “but I feel even luckier because now I know what it is to have that loss and have that absence.”
Tom Bernthal, Sheryl Sandberg, Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan.Allan Zepeda
For Sandberg, whoselate husband Dave Goldberg tragically died in 2015while the couple were on vacation in Mexico, finding love after loss was never something she felt was a guarantee.
“You can’t even tell your closest friends, ‘one day I hope to date again,’ because you’re in mourning and you don’t want to think that and maybepeople would judge. You feel, ‘Maybe I’m disloyal for even thinking about it,'” she says.
“I never wanted to grow old alone, and when you lose a spouse suddenly, what you’re facing is growing old alone,” Sandberg adds. “And it’s really hard.”
The Bernthal brothers: Nicholas, Tom and Jon.Allan Zepeda
It wasDave’s own brother Rob who first introduced Sandberg to Tom, Rob’s longtime friend, in 2019.
“He said, ‘How about my sister-in-law?’ And I kind of said, ‘Well, sure. That sounds amazing. But I need somebody who’sattainable,'” Tom recalls.
For their first date on the Facebook campus that April, “I had to sign an NDA because I was going on the Facebook property and we were together for 29 minutes,” Tom jokes.
Tom Bernthal and Sheryl Sandberg.Allan Zepeda
But they hit it off. “In that first meeting we talked about death and divorce,” he says, turning to Sandberg. “You were so warm and maternal and curious and interested and interesting. We went pretty deep on that first date.”
HavingDave’s own brother play matchmaker, “it’s as close to Dave’s blessing as it could possibly have,” Sandberg says. “And Rob has said, and has said to my biological children, ‘I picked him for you.'”
“I want people to seethere’s love after loss, love for us after death, love for us after divorce,” she says.
Ahead of the wedding festivities, the couple took a camping trip with their combined five kids (due to security concerns, they do not name the children nor show their faces).
“We just saw it as a chance for us to really be with the kids together,” Tom says.
“No connectivity!” adds Sheryl.
Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal with their children on the family’s pre-wedding camping trip in Wyoming.Aidan Tanner
At the wedding itself, the five kids all held important roles.
“We keep saying, ‘We’re all getting married.’ And the kids keep saying,‘You’regetting married,'” Sandberg says, imitating her teenagers’ deadpan. “So I said, ‘Well, ourfamiliesare getting married.'”
Sandberg says the children’s warmth and enthusiasm was the highlight of the night.
“Each of them gave a toast about our family — not just about their relationship withus, but about how close they are to each other,” she says. “It was truly touching for both of us to see the five of them standing up there as siblings.”
Raising Money for a Good Cause
In lieu of gifts, the couple asked that guests donate toVOWandCAREto fund anti-child marriage programs and poverty alleviation efforts.
Sandberg acknowledges that while “we are choosing to get married,” thousands around the world are still forced to marry as children.
“We’re making donations ourselves,” she says, “but also inviting our guests to celebrate with us and try to end child marriage.”
So far, the pair donated $1 million for VOW and $10 million for CARE, Sandberg tells PEOPLE.
source: people.com
