hold a skillful TV plot is fabulously hard . It requires load of talent , creativity , strong work and time . In direct contrast , making a bad video game is rather easy . Hand the task off to an interne or , barring that , a hyper 6 - yr - old , then plain back , drink a half rack of Hamm ’s and watchGossip Girl .
sell that big video recording game , on the other hand , is sturdy . But it ’s nothing a fat endorsement check to a celebrity wo n’t cure .
1. Steven Seagal is the Final Option
The title of this biz is belike the most accurate phrase ever speak . No matter what life throws at you , Steven Seagal should only be the Final Option in all portion . Seagal ’s problem solving method acting swear exclusively on broken neck and genitalia punching , which is n’t appropriate for all of life ’s tribulations . After all , leaving a pile of spine - discerp Gap employees seems a bit extreme just to bring back a cable length knit jumper .
Back in 1993 , video game developer TecMagik announced oeuvre on a Steven Seagal telecasting game , gasconade their project as the first celebrity licence video plot . Plus the game would use the images of lively doer as digitalize sprite , alaMortal Kombat , for that extra morsel of realism . oddly enough , their licensed natural action star does n’t actually appear in the game besides the title of respect screen . He ’s play by a see - a - like because TecMagik admitted the resolution of their “ real life ” computer graphic was so low you could n’t tell the difference . In fact , the firmness is so low , they could have had Danny DeVito place upright in and you would n’t know the difference . Actually , the path Steven looks these Day you might not know the difference in real life either .
Despite the deficiency of his physical presence in the plot , Seagal involved himself heavily in the production , shaping the game ’s storey . And what ’s that story ? Something about saving a woman ’s boy by walk through a munitions manufacturing plant and murdering every lab technician and maintenance prole in your way .
That ’s right-hand , as Steven Seagal you get swift , yet merciless , death to civilians and wage slaves who patiently wait for you to judo hack them into oblivion . That company must have the most overworked HR department .
Even though Tecmagik crafted 18 levels ofSteven Seagal is The Final Option , the game never saw sack . Plenty of hoi polloi seem to have played the unfinished game . You could blame the game ’s failure on the political economy of the biz diligence at the time or over - estimating the draw of the ever - puffying ( or - as I call it-“The Puffening ” ) actor . However , I care to think Tecmagik simply could n’t eject the game because , due to undiluted badassery , once you infix the pickup , the game would throat punch your Super Nintendo until it exploded .
2. Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex
If you own a Commodore 64 , you had the opportunity to playDr . Ruth ’s Game of Good Sex — perhaps the closest thing to sex avid Commodore 64 drug user ever achieved . And how saucy did Dr. Ruth ’s plot get ? How about “ multiple choice ” saucy ? Yep , the game with the provocative form of address ( by 80 ’s standards ) prove nothing more than a sex quiz . More mass have learned about sex by taking a trip to the farm .
3. Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City
Huh ?
Any Michael Jordan game could have offer up the ability to smash the glass and cling in the air longer than Baron Harkonnen ( Dune reference , you ’re welcome ) . However , the overachiever at EA cogitate it would make a much more interesting challenge to craft a Michael Jordan game that had very little to do with basketball game . Besides murder by basketball game , the only basketball - eccentric activity in the plot is every now and then a basketball hoop appear and Mike must take a warm time out from bludgeon the undead ( or anyone adjudicate to take your picture , really ) for a sweep dunk .
The combination of a basketball legend with a hardly tangentially related to basketball concept made for an offer gamers discover easy to turn away . Michael Jordan : Chaos in the Windy Citymade the Top 10 leaning of bad Games in the ever charitableNintendo Power . Did I forget to mention the zombies have basketballs for head ?
4. Home Improvement
5. Chuck Norris Kung Fu Superkicks
The reason for the heightened difficulty was the game really did something a little revolutionary for the year 1983 : it featured contend combos . Almost a X beforeMortal Kombat , Chuck Norris Kung Fu Superkicksasked gamers to con complex joystick warping , clitoris comminute sequences on their Atari 2600 . And since Chuck Norris was little more than a loose assembling of pixels on the screen , you never bang if you ’d landed a jazz band with success . Of course , none of this matter if you ’re Chuck Norris . When Chuck Norris lose in a picture plot , it ’s the game that dies .
