Chrissy Teigen, Courtney Stodden.Photo: getty (2)
Chrissy Teigenis taking accountability for the ways in which she previously bulliedCourtney Stoddenonline.
“Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bulls— in front of the entire world. I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll,” theCravingsauthor, 35,wrote. “I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel.”
“I have worked so hard to give you guys joy and be beloved and the feeling of letting you down is nearly unbearable, truly. These were not my only mistakes and surely won’t be my last as hard as I try but god I will try,” shecontinued.
Teigensaidthat she has “tried to connect with Courtney privately” but that she also chose to apologize via Twitter since she “publicly fueled all this.”
TheSports Illustratedmodeladded, “I’m so sorry, Courtney. I hope you can heal now knowing how deeply sorry I am. And I am so sorry I let you guys down. I will forever work on being better than I was 10 years ago, 1 year ago, 6 months ago.”
Though reps for Stodden did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment on Wednesday, they spoke out about Teigen’s tweets in an Instagram post.
While Stodden said, “I accept her apology and forgive her,” the modelclaimedthat Teigen has never issued a private apology.
“But the truth remains the same, I have never heard from her or her camp in private. In fact, she blocked me on Twitter,” Stodden wrote. “All of me wants to believe this is a sincere apology, but it feels like a public attempt to save her partnerships with Target and other brands who are realizing her ‘wokeness’ is a broken record.”
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“She wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself,” said Stodden, whocame out as non-binarylast month. “Things like, ‘I can’t wait for you to die.'”
Stodden said that “people came out of the woodwork to beat up on a kid because she wasin a situation that she shouldn’t have been in,” referencingtheir former marriage to Doug Hutchison, 60. (The “Pleasure” singer controversially wed Hutchison in 2011 when they were just 16 years old and the actor was 51.)
“There were a lot of celebrities acting like playground bullies,” Stodden recalled. “Some of the worst treatment I got was from women, and we’re not going to get anywhere if we keep holding each other back.”
With the exception of bloggerPerez Hilton, Stodden said that “one of the biggest surprises” was that no one has “sought to apologize” or has “sent any kind of love” their way.
“The majority of love and apologies have come from reporters and also people online who tell me that they appreciate me and love me, and that I’m a source of strength for them,” they said. “And that means everything to me.”
“For me, seeing her interaction with Alison but completely ignoring the hate messages she was sending me on Twitter, I think it’s absolutely shameful,” Stodden told Yahoo Lifestyle, noting that they believe Teigen “gaslighted” them.
source: people.com
