HBO ’s first trailer for season five of truthful pedigree is pack with crashing plunderer . Get your first look at the retort of the queen , new vampire weapons , strange hookup , and the brand raw look Hoyt is channeling . Watch the trailer , then check out our screencap dislocation in this giant fangbanging verandah .
Hoyt is a Goth now . A Goth who likes vampires to bite on his neck — including male child vampires to burn on his neck . He looks like he scram his outfit from Hot Topic . I ’m livid .
Vampire Bill is bind in a Vampire Cage , set out his Vampire Face melted off .
faerie in Bowler Hats . Now and eternally .
Sookie is gaga distressed over something she just buried . Dollar to donut , that ’s Tara . Which sucks because whatever is looming behind her looks mystical . I ’m secern you , Tara is coming back as a miserable zombi .
Pam and Eric , raw . WHAT , WHAT ?
Chris Meloni is THE AUTHORITY . Let ’s go caress some sweaters .
Our first ever Historical Vampire Flashback ! It ’s Vampire Downton Abbey !
Steve Newlin wants to “ glean all the humans ” for his newly found lamia hunger . From one extremum to the other , make water sense .
Chris Meloni delivers this voice over about how vampires acting like “ savages ” will only make the humans will uprise up . Then there ’s this shot of hot vampire netting action . Are the net made of atomic number 47 ?
Bill has a new little girl . have ’s hope her name is “ KellAY ” or “ Saruh ” or “ Bobbi SUH . ”
My favorite part of the drone . Baby Vamp Jessica suppose “ My Dad ’s the King ! ” to which Newlin respond “ Not anymore ! ” These two in a room together ? first-class . Jessica and Newlin are both such ridiculous creatures , I ’m expecting some screamingly singular dialogue .
Sam is tied up . We ’re presume this is a charming game - fix - fixing neck opening strap , because why does n’t he just deform into a rainfly ?
Zorro Vampire .
ALL HAIL THE KING !
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