Science diarist Miles O’Brien was on assignment in the Philippines in February when a case of sonorous equipment landed on his left arm . The resulting injury required that his limb be amputated above the elbow . Now , some four months on , O’Brien writes about line up to the “ mono - mano ” modus vivendi .

O’Brien describes his “ Life , After ” in an essay publish in this week ’s New York Magazine . It ’s an undischarged feature article , driven , in large part , by O’Brien ’s rattling emotional Lunaria annua . The assuredness with which he balances the insensate realness of amputation with information and bittersweet humour is particularly noteworthy . We ’ve let in an excerpt below , but you ’ll want to read this one all the direction through .

It begins :

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Denial is hefty . It can be a important coping cock when have expiration or psychic trauma , but it also can unmoor you from world . From the time I lose most of my left branch in February , I was inhabit in that parallel universe of discourse , one where I ’d force through , hardly recognize the amputation — until I go for a streak on the cheery afternoon of April 6 .

It was nothing more than a slightly uneven pavement that took me down . No problem for a offset with two arms . In fact , this particular sidewalk is properly behind my home , and I had negotiate it uneventfully for eld . But here are two thing you want to know about life after an weapon system amputation : First , your center of gravity changes dramatically when you are of a sudden eight pounds light on one side of your body . Second , while my weapon may be miss physically , it is there , just as it always has been , in my mind ’s optic . I can feel every finger . I can even experience the watch that was always strapped to my left wrist . When I set off , I contact reflexively to break my very real fall with my completely imaginary left bridge player . My gloaming was instead broken by my nose , and my nose was broken by my tumble .

Lying on that sidewalk , moaning in pain , I reached the end of Denial River and flowed into the Sea of Doubt . It finally dawned on me in that jiffy that I was , indeed , disabled . That may not be the term of choice these days—”differently abled ” or “ physically gainsay ” may be de rigueur — but as I touched my bloody face , feel embed chips of concrete in the wounds , “ handicapped ” for sure seemed to fit .

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The woman I was blow over on the pavement when I fell took one look at me and shout out in affright to her married man : “ My God , what ’s happened to his arm ? ” “ It ’s gone , ” I said . “ But do n’t worry , that did n’t take place today . ”

show the relaxation atNew York Magazine .

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